KobulKabin does not conduct criminal background screenings on its members.
Before you meet
- "Anyone who is able to commit identity theft can also falsify a dating profile." A verified badge means we checked a phone number, a live selfie and (if shown) an ID document. It is not a criminal background check.
- "Never include your last name, e-mail address, home address, phone number, place of work, or any other identifying information in your Internet profile or initial e-mail messages. Stop communicating with anyone who pressures you for personal or financial information or attempts in any way to trick you into revealing it."
- Keep talking inside KobulKabin until you have met with family. Invite your wali into the chat with "Add guardian to chat" — a genuine match will welcome it.
- Do your own checks: ask about their family, mosque, work or studies, and confirm through people you trust. Be wary of anyone who avoids video calls, avoids involving family, or rushes towards nikah.
The first meetings
- "If you choose to have a face-to-face meeting with another member, always tell someone in your family or a friend where you are going and when you will return. Never agree to be picked up at your home. Always provide your own transportation to and from your date and meet in a public place with many people around."
- For families: meet first with a guardian or relative present, in a public or family setting — a restaurant, a community centre, or the home of a relative you know. Keep the first meetings short.
- Do not travel to another city or country alone to meet someone you have only met online. Never hand over your passport or ID to anyone.
- If you are worried that a family trip abroad is really for a marriage you do not want, contact the Forced Marriage Unit (UK), Tahirih (US) or Global Affairs Canada before you travel. See forced marriage help.
- Never send money, gifts, gift cards or crypto to someone you have not met in person.
Towards kobul and kabin
- Marriage is a choice. In Islam and in law, both of you must agree freely. If you feel pressured — by anyone, including family — you can say no, and you can talk in confidence to the organisations for your country.
- Register your marriage. In Bangladesh, register the nikah with a Nikah Registrar (the kabin-nama). In England and Wales a nikah on its own is usually not a legal marriage, so also have a civil ceremony (see is a nikah legal in the UK?). In the US and Canada, get a civil marriage licence.
- Dowry (joutuk) demands are illegal in Bangladesh. Report them.
For guardians: support, not pressure
- Help with the checking, ask questions, give advice — the decision belongs to your son or daughter.
- Be wary of any demand for money or gifts, and talk about it openly with your child.
- If your child says no to someone, respect it. Forcing a marriage is wrong in law and in faith.